How to Be Yourself

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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar WildeIt's quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of advice: Be yourself. But it's such a vague adage. What do they really mean when they tell you to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds?

Steps

Find yourself. You can't be yourself if you don't know, understand, and accept yourself first.
Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn't matter. It's impossible to be yourself when you're caught up in wondering "Do they think I'm funny? Does she think I'm fat? Do they think I'm stupid?" To be yourself, you've got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you.
Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You're an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks.
Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you're not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too.
Develop and express your individuality. Whether it's your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it.
Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and that some days, you're the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say "Hey, that's just me" and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you'll respect yourself.
Believe in who you are. If you're always working to be someone you're not, you'll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you're proud the way you are! Yea and don't forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)

Tips

There's a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don't have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they're not you.
If fads or trends strike your fancy, don't avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
As the famous song goes, "Life's not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am" - when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
If you don't agree on what people express as an opinion you don't need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don't just act like you agree either because then you would acting falsely.
Even if you are interested in something that most people aren't interested in don't be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
Don't worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!

Warnings

Just because you don't care about how people perceive you doesn't mean you shouldn't be aware of it, especially in situations where being yourself might be misinterpreted. For example, you might enjoy being friendly and flirtatious, but in some cultures, that might be perceived as a sexual invitation, and you could get yourself in trouble.
Don't lose yourself when you're with other friends. Be yourself. Don't be someone else so other people will like you because, in the end, you end up hurting other people and losing yourself.
Keep in mind that 'being yourself' is not always the right thing to do. Would you tell a despicable person to just be himself and not change a thing? No. Most of the time when people in general perceive you a certain way, it means you don't fit in to your society. Whether you WANT to fit in or not is up to you, but you are only setting yourself up for trouble when you neglect society's ways. (That is, unless you decide to live in a cave for the rest of your life.)
That said, obviously nobody is perfect. However, if you are outrageously flawed (for example, have a short temper) then you should look into some self-improvement rather than ignoring everyone's cues and 'being yourself.' Don't deny yourself of the truth by saying it's everyone else's problem and not yours.

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SURiMOUNT

Friday, May 30, 2008