In Lighter Vein-5: Cockroach and the Man

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged

Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?

(This is called "Positive Thinking")

Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doc :- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet...

(Now this is called "Positive Attitude")

A Man wrote to the bank. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".

(This is self confidence in its peak)

This one is classic !!

A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 

Posted as received in WhatsApp.